'It's more of a juggle than a balance': an attorney and mother shares tips for success

Jodi Rosenberg has been a practicing attorney for fifteen years and a mother for ten. Her account of the "juggling act" won Honorable Mention in the Ms. JD & PAR work/life balance essay contest. She shares war stories--like the time the school nurse demanded to speak with her in front of a judge--and winning stories, like this one:

"A week before I left for maternity leave, [a partner] approached me about my request to work part-time. He represented a large bank and I was one of a group of associates who worked on the bank’s matters. The bank’s general counsel, a single mother of four, had expressed to him that she liked my work and he told her about my interest in a reduced schedule. Together, they came up with a plan. If I spent all of my time working on the bank’s matters three days a week, the bank would be better serviced because it would be guaranteed the same associate on most of its matters instead of the usual assignment of the least busy associate. The bank even agreed to increase its share of work to our firm based on this plan, as the proposed arrangement demonstrated that the bank was progressive and supportive of part-time opportunities. It was a win-win solution on all levels."

Great idea, right? Follow the jump to read more. --Ed.

I was walking on a Florida beach with my father and talking about my future. I was in my senior year of college and I knew that I wanted to go to graduate school. Having spent every summer working on Wall Street, business school seemed the obvious option. However, even at that point, my goal was clear. I wanted a career that would allow me to work part-time when I had children without sacrificing the career. Even then, the flexibility was as important as the career.

My father and I agreed that in 1990, Wall Street was not a female-friendly world. There were very few women working on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange where I was offered a job. I had also been sexually harassed on a job interview with a prominent investment bank. (It is definitely inappropriate to hold on-campus callbacks at a fancy restaurant, ask the candidate to give a walking tour of her school and then try to kiss her). And just being practical, I could not expect to work part-time in a volatile stock market.

I knew that if I became a lawyer, even if I took years off to raise my children, I would still always be a lawyer. That same logic did not seem to apply to much of the business world. During that walk on the beach, I decided that a career in law was the right choice. I had no grand visions of saving the entire world, just a desire to choose a solid, enjoyable career that would afford me many options.

Fast forward to my fifth year in practice in the litigation department of a large New Jersey law firm working for several partners. Pregnant. No litigator had ever worked part-time at the firm. It was 1998 and flexible work options were generally not available, but the tide was turning. I surveyed all of the partners I worked with to assess their willingness to allow me to come back at a reduced schedule.

A week before I left for maternity leave, one of my favorite partners, with whom I had been working closely, approached me about my request to work part-time. He represented a large bank and I was one of a group of associates who worked on the bank’s matters. The bank’s general counsel, a single mother of four, had expressed to him that she liked my work and he told her about my interest in a reduced schedule. Together, they came up with a plan. If I spent all of my time working on the bank’s matters three days a week, the bank would be better serviced because it would be guaranteed the same associate on most of its matters instead of the usual assignment of the least busy associate. The bank even agreed to increase its share of work to our firm based on this plan, as the proposed arrangement demonstrated that the bank was progressive and supportive of part-time opportunities. It was a win-win solution on all levels. The proposal was made to our managing partner and we agreed on a six-month trial period.

My request was accepted because it made sense. The firm would get more business, the client would get great service, and I would have my chance to try to maintain a work/life balance. It has been almost ten years since the time of the arrangement. I now have three children under the age of ten. I have been able to manage my workload with more ease than I ever expected. Litigation can be practiced part-time. Courts and adversaries are extremely flexible. After all, nobody seemed to work on the same matter every day, so every litigator has a schedule to balance.

Working moms can have it all, just not all at the same time. It is not realistic for me to expect to work on the most important cases in the office because I do not want to be available 24/7. I also cannot expect to make partner in the same length of time as my classmates who work full-time. (I proposed “counsel” and that proposal was well received). And I can expect attitude from some partners who think leaving before 7 p.m. is a crime.

I often can’t eat supper with my kids, but I can get them to sit down with me for dessert. I can’t make it to all of their games, shows and activities. I can’t do my share of carpooling. I have to ask for many favors. I have to consult my calendar several times a day to keep up.

In tony Millburn/Short Hills where I live, working moms are a minority. Opportunities abound for working moms’ guilt. Most meetings are held during the day and many stay-at-home moms answer every e-mail immediately from their Blackberries. (I still don’t have one). Once when I was before a judge, the school nurse interrupted me to ask for an immediate delivery of dry shoes because my kindergartener had soaked his during an art project. Without dry shoes, he would have to miss recess. My thought--are you kidding me? My child survived without recess, the shoes dried and the judge had a good laugh.

While maintaining this dual life is much more of a juggling act than a balance, somehow, it all has worked. I’ve been able to try cases before juries, argue appeals and still volunteer at the elementary school. I serve on boards of charities, perform in community theatre, and yes, even find time to escape to the gym.

I am fortunate to be able to afford the reduced salary that accompanies my reduced schedule, although after paying for childcare and commuting expenses with my after-tax dollars, one might think that my arrangement is not worth it financially. However, the benefits of maintaining a work/life balance are immeasurable.

I am just as practical now as I was when I took that walk on the beach with my father. I would still make the same career choice today. I am turning 40 this year and feeling lucky to be in my shoes—wet or dry.

Average: 4.7 (3 votes)


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