Finally, the 7th and final installation of the series that I started many months ago and haven't been able to bring myself to finish.  Way back in November, I promised to tell you the truth about the seven things that I wished I would have known about being a mom -- information that I thought would be helpful to professional women that are not yet moms but are contemplating starting a family.

I hope that my series was information and helpful, even if it was personal and only one girl's opinion and advice.  (I've put links to the other six posts below.)

The thing that I promised to write about last was: "You'll be the Same Person But Now You'll Just Have a Kid".  I've been putting this off because, well, the myth is self-explanatory.  However, with a lot of thought I think I have nailed the reason why this is a myth -- besides the obvious reaons like how could you possibly be the same person if you are only getting sleep in 1.5 hour increments or painting you two-year old daughter's toe nails with peel-off polish instead of getting a pedicure of your own in your free 30 minutes on a Saturday afternoon!  The truth to counter this myth is that the center of your life changes when you have a child...

Before kids, I think that I would have said that my job was the center of my life.  I might have also said that my relationship with my husband was the center or that a couple of time-consuming hobbies (such as international travel and skydiving) were competing for the position of 'center of my life'.  I don't think I was self-centered in a negative sense but, if I am truthful about it, I allocated my time, energy, effort and resources to myself, primarily.

Once you have a child, that little person becomes the center of your world.  An infant needs its mother in every literal sense of the word "need". But even beyond the obvious infant months, a child will consume you.  Being a parent changes your priorities, what you worry about, what you think about out, where you shop, what you eat, how you arrange your furniture, what you spend your money on, how often you visit your parents or in-laws, your driving habits, your hobbies, your friends, your household cleaning product choices, the heat setting on your hot water heater, what tv you watch... need I go on?

I often hear working parents say that their children are their hobbies and I think that I would say the same thing about my life. 

So, what's the take-away from this post?  Obviously, I have decided to be a working-mom and you can see my other posts about what that choice has involved for me personally.  However, while I think that I spend a lot of effort on my work, it is not the center of my life.  Even though you can't tell it by the ratio of how much time I spend with work versus how much time (waking hours) that I spend with my kids, the kids are my priority.  An emergency with my kids will win out over a work emergency every time.  I think that if you are considering starting a family, you need to seriously consider the role that work plays in your life and whether you are able to re-prioritize in order to have kids.  Some attorneys are in much more demanding and all-encompassing positions than mine at a big law firm.  For example, "cause lawyers" or impact-litigators may give everything to their work in a way that I do not and cannot.  If that is you, I would say that you should try to plan ahead for a change to way you look at life, what is important to you, and, again, what your priorities are.  Of course, the irony here is that, before you have children, it is nearly impossible to imagine life as a parent and it is nearly impossible to predict (or for me to explain) the emotions of motherhood. 

Part I           Part II         Part III 

Part IV         Part V          Part VI