while mccain applauds palin for her qualities as a devoted mother, he seems to have abandoned the mother of his three eldest children. 

 "The wife U.S. Republican John McCain callously left behind
By Sharon Churcher, for LiveJournal.com
Last updated at 1:45 AM on 08th June 2008

Now that Hillary Clinton has at last formally withdrawn from the race
for the White House, the eyes of America and the world will focus on
Barack Obama and his Republican rival Senator John McCain.

While Obama will surely press his credentials as the embodiment of the
American dream – a handsome, charismatic young black man who was
raised on food stamps by a single mother and who represents his
country's future – McCain will present himself as a selfless,
principled war hero whose campaign represents not so much a battle for
the presidency of the United States, but a crusade to rescue the
nation's tarnished reputation.

McCain likes to illustrate his moral fibre by referring to his five
years as a prisoner-of-war in Vietnam. And to demonstrate his
commitment to family values, the 71-year-old former US Navy pilot pays
warm tribute to his beautiful blonde wife, Cindy, with whom he has
four children.

But there is another Mrs McCain who casts a ghostly shadow over the
Senator's presidential campaign. She is seldom seen and rarely written
about, despite being mother to McCain's three eldest children.

And yet, had events turned out differently, it would be she, rather
than Cindy, who would be vying to be First Lady. She is McCain's first
wife, Carol, who was a famous beauty and a successful swimwear model
when they married in 1965.

She was the woman McCain dreamed of during his long incarceration and
torture in Vietnam's infamous 'Hanoi Hilton' prison and the woman who
faithfully stayed at home looking after the children and waiting
anxiously for news.

But when McCain returned to America in 1973 to a fanfare of publicity
and a handshake from Richard Nixon, he discovered his wife had been
disfigured in a terrible car crash three years earlier. Her car had
skidded on icy roads into a telegraph pole on Christmas Eve, 1969. Her
pelvis and one arm were shattered by the impact and she suffered
massive internal injuries.

When Carol was discharged from hospital after six months of
life-saving surgery, the prognosis was bleak. In order to save her
legs, surgeons

had been forced to cut away huge sections of shattered bone, taking
with it her tall, willowy figure. She was confined to a wheelchair and
was forced to use a catheter.

Through sheer hard work, Carol learned to walk again. But when John
McCain came home from Vietnam, she had gained a lot of weight and bore
little resemblance to her old self.

Today, she stands at just 5ft4in and still walks awkwardly, with a
pronounced limp. Her body is held together by screws and metal plates
and, at 70, her face is worn by wrinkles that speak of decades of
silent suffering.

For nearly 30 years, Carol has maintained a dignified silence about
the accident, McCain and their divorce. But last week at the bungalow
where she now lives at Virginia Beach, a faded seaside resort 200
miles south of Washington, she told The Mail on Sunday how McCain
divorced her in 1980 and married Cindy, 18 years his junior and the
heir to an Arizona brewing fortune, just one month later.

Carol insists she remains on good terms with her ex-husband, who
agreed as part of their divorce settlement to pay her medical costs
for life. 'I have no bitterness,'

she says. 'My accident is well recorded. I had 23 operations, I am
five inches shorter than I used to be and I was in hospital for six
months. It was just awful, but it wasn't the reason for my divorce.

'My marriage ended because John McCain didn't want to be 40, he wanted
to be 25. You know that happens...it just does.'

Some of McCain's acquaintances are less forgiving, however. They
portray the politician as a self-centred womaniser who effectively
abandoned his crippled wife to 'play the field'. They accuse him of
finally settling on Cindy, a former rodeo beauty queen, for financial
reasons.

McCain was then earning little more than £25,000 a year as a naval
officer, while his new father-in-law, Jim Hensley, was a
multi-millionaire who had impeccable political connections.

He first met Carol in the Fifties while he was at the US Naval Academy
in Annapolis. He was a privileged, but rebellious scion of one of
America's most distinguished military dynasties – his father and
grandfather were both admirals.

But setting out to have a good time, the young McCain hung out with a
group of young officers who called themselves the 'Bad Bunch'.

His primary interest was women and his conquests ranged from a
knife-wielding floozy nicknamed 'Marie, the Flame of Florida' to a
tobacco heiress.

Carol fell into his fast-living world by accident. She escaped a poor
upbringing in Philadelphia to become a successful model, married an
Annapolis classmate of McCain's and had two children – Douglas and
Andrew – before renewing what one acquaintance calls 'an old
flirtation' with McCain.

It seems clear she was bowled over by McCain's attention at a time
when he was becoming bored with his playboy lifestyle.

'He was 28 and ready to settle down and he loved Carol's children,'
recalled another Annapolis graduate, Robert Timberg, who wrote The
Nightingale's Song, a bestselling biography of McCain and four other
graduates of the academy.

The couple married and McCain adopted Carol's sons. Their daughter,
Sidney, was born a year later, but domesticity was clearly beginning

to bore McCain – the couple were regarded as 'fixtures on the party
circu it' before McCain requested combat duty in Vietnam at the end of
1966.

He was assigned as a bomber pilot on an aircraft carrier in the Gulf of Tonkin.

What follows is the stuff of the McCain legend. He was shot down over
Hanoi in October 1967 on his 23rd mission over North Vietnam and was
badly beaten by an angry mob when he was pulled, half-drowned from a
lake.

It was in 1969 that Carol went to spend the Christmas holiday – her
third without McCain – at her parents' home. After dinner, she left to
drop off some presents at a friend's house.

It wasn't until some hours later that she was discovered, alone and in
terrible pain, next to the wreckage of her car. She had been hurled
through the windscreen.

After her first series of life-saving operations, Carol was told she
may never walk again, but when doctors said they would try to get word
to McCain about her injuries, she refused, insisting: 'He's got enough
problems, I don't want to tell him.'

H. Ross Perot, a billionaire Texas businessman, future presidential
candidate and advocate of prisoners of war, paid for her medical care.

When McCain – his hair turned prematurely white and his body reduced
to little more than a skeleton – was released in March 1973, he told
reporters he was overjoyed to see Carol again.

But friends say privately he was 'appalled' by the change in her
appearance. At first, though, he was kind, assuring her: 'I don't look
so good myself. It's fine.'

He bought her a bungalow near the sea in Florida and another former
PoW helped him to build a railing so she could pull herself over the
dunes to the water.

'I thought, of course, we would live happily ever after,' says Carol.
But as a war hero, McCain was moving in ever-more elevated circles.

Through Ross Perot, he met Ronald Reagan, then Governor of California.
A sympathetic Nancy Reagan took Carol under her wing.

But already the McCains' marriage had begun to fray. 'John started
carousing and running around with women,' said Robert Timberg.

McCain has acknowledged that he had girlfriends during this time,
without going into details. Some friends blame his dissatisfaction
with Carol, but others give some credence to her theory of a mid-life
crisis.

He was also fiercely ambitious, but it was clear he would never become
an admiral like his illustrious father and grandfather and his
thoughts were turning to politics.

In 1979 – while still married to Carol – he met Cindy at a cocktail
party in Hawaii. Over the next six months he pursued her, flying
around the country to see her. Then he began to push to end his
marriage.

Carol and her children were devastated. 'It was a complete surprise,'
says Nancy Reynolds, a former Reagan aide.

'They never displayed any difficulties between themselves. I know the
Reagans were quite shocked because they loved and respected both Carol
and John.'

Another friend added: 'Carol didn't fight him. She felt her infirmity
made her an impediment to him. She justified his actions because of
all he had gone through. She used to say, "He just wants to make up
for lost time."'

Indeed, to many in their circle the saddest part of the break-up was
Carol's decision to resign herself to losing a man she says she still
adores.

Friends confirm she has remained friends with McCain and backed him in
all his campaigns. 'He was very generous to her in the divorce but of
course he could afford to be, since he was marrying Cindy,' one
observed.

McCain transferred the Florida beach house to Carol and gave her the
right to live in their jointly-owned townhouse in the Washington
suburb of Alexandria. He also agreed to pay her alimony and child
support.

A former neighbour says she subsequently sold up in Florida and
Washington and moved in 2003 to Virginia Beach. He said: 'My
impression was that she found the new place easier to manage as she
still has some difficulties walking.'

Meanwhile McCain moved to Arizona with his new bride immediately after
their 1980 marriage. There, his new father-in-law gave him a job and
introduced him to local businessmen and political powerbrokers20who
would smooth his passage to Washington via the House of
Representatives and Senate.

And yet despite his popularity as a politician, there are those who
won't forget his treatment of his first wife.

Ted Sampley, who fought with US Special Forces in Vietnam and is now a
leading campaigner for veterans' rights, said: 'I have been following
John McCain's career for nearly 20 years. I know him personally. There
is something wrong with this guy and let me tell you what it is –
deceit.

'When he came home and saw that Carol was not the beauty he left
behind, he started running around on her almost right away. Everybody
around him knew it.

'Eventually he met Cindy and she was young and beautiful and very
wealthy. At that point McCain just dumped Carol for something he
thought was better.

'This is a guy who makes such a big deal about his character. He has
no character. He is a fake. If there was any character in that first
marriage, it all belonged to Carol.'

One old friend of the McCains said: 'Carol always insists she is not
bitter, but I think that's a defence mechanism. She also feels deeply
in his debt because in return for her agreement to a divorce, he
promised to pay for her medical care for the rest of her life.'

Carol remained resolutely loyal as McCain's political star rose. She
says she agreed to talk to The Mail on Sunday only because she wanted
to publicise her support for the man who abandoned her.

Indeed, the old Mercedes that she uses to run errands displays both a
disabled badge and a sticker encouraging people to vote for her
ex-husband. 'He's a good guy,' she assured us. 'We are still good
friends. He is the best man for president.'

But Ross Perot, who paid her medical bills all those years ago, now
believes that both Carol McCain and the American people have been
taken in by a man who is unusually slick and cruel – even by the
standards of modern politics.

'McCain is the classic opportunist. He's always reaching for attention
and glory,' he said.

'After he came home, Carol walked with a limp. So he threw her over
for a poster girl with big money from Arizona. And the rest is
history.'

I don't see Ms. Palin as some shining example of how women can have it all.  I am not being judgmental about her decision to accept the VP nomination when she has a special needs infant and pregnant teenager.  It's a once in a lifetime opportunity and she has every right to take it.  But there's no way that choice isn't going to require major sacrifices by everyone in that family.  So I am quite certain Mrs. Palin is not going to be "having it all" for some time.  She'll be on the campaign trail for the next two months.  She won't be attending soccer games and PTA meetings.  

I actually think it does more harm than good to push the myth of having it all.  We should be talking about more realistic goals - like achieving a balance between our career achievements and the demands of family life. 

Although I have not made a decision on which party ticket I will vote for in November, I am appalled by how cynical others have been on McCain's choice to choose a young women (whom I believe is qualified) as his running mate. Yes, she has five children. SO WHAT! McCain has seven children. Palin also has a husband, that I am sure is used to performing his portion of the parenting responsibilties. The woman has already been the governor of Alaska.

I also think the largest problem with society is that women don't support other women in their attempt to have it all. We all claim to want work-life balance, but we don't support others who put their career first. Palin, whether you like her or not, is a role model to young females. As a young attorney that wants a family, I am even inspired by her accomplishments. We should praise her for her choice to run with John McCain. She, like Hillary Clinton, are helping shatter that glass ceiling that I often think was created by other women who are so unsupportive of a woman choosing to put her career near the top of her priority list.

Last, I want to note that I am THRILLED to see that Palin is so beautiful. She is feminine and professional. She dresses like a woman rather than a man. She has long hair. She is a role model to women everywhere, regardless of whether you like her politics.  

While I would normally be thrilled by a woman running for President or Vice President, I will not be supporting the McCain Palin ticket.  She doesn't support equal pay for equal work or bodily autonomy for women.  She brings nothing new to the table in terms of issues that are important to me--health care, renewable energy, and bringing jobs back to the U.S. (Anyone else having problems finding one?)  Plus, they are running an extremely dishonest campaign, and that's not the kind of people I want in office, been there done that (weapons of mass destruction).  As much as I support women having it all, I will not vote for someone just because she is a woman, because to me, that's still sexism. 

The comments posted here create an interesting contrast.  First, there's a post about McCain's decision to turn his back on his disabled wife in favor of a rich, young blond.  True, that was a personal decision that he made about how to conduct his family life, but I think it says at least a little about his character, at least at that time in his life.  Some people probably don't care about that, but his first three kids might.  Then there's the anonymous post arguing that people shouldn't even trouble themselves with thinking about the fact that Palin's husband doesn't have a college degree and they have one son going off to war without getting a college education first and one daughter who is now pregnant before getting her high school diploma.  The Palins also have a brand new baby with special needs, all at the time that this relatively young woman decides it's time to go into national politics during the last two months of a wrenching campaign after serving as governor for less than two years.  But we aren't supposed to consider these facts about a person that we know virtually nothing about, because to do so would be SEXIST?  Might they tell us something about her character and her priorities?  I don't know, but I think they might and I'm glad I know these things.  The same poster, however, apparently needs only to see a picture of Palin to decide whether she'll vote for her.  Anonymous is comforted by the fact that Palin has - not a background in international relations, or any experience balancing a budget (Alaska is flush with oil money right now) or anything else particularly helpful at this point in American history.  Instead, Anonymous is thrilled that Palin "dresses like a woman rather than a man" and "has long hair."  Yes, such things are truly critical and we should all take such a gender-neutral vantage lest our government be overrun by intelligent women wearing their pants long and their hair short.  For my part, how Palin chooses to conduct her life and manage her responsibilities tells me much more about her than whether she looks like a girl, whatever that means.

I can't support a woman who likes to censor and cut funding for libraries and museums, and who fires people simply because they don't agree with her politics.  It is dangerous to blithely surround yourself with sycophants and yes-men, ignoring those who might validly challenge your own thinking or stimulate positive discussion on issues.

I love my city library and saw my first Picasso and Monet this summer thanks to a great art museum.  Once law school debt is gone, both will be on my list of institutions to support.