I can be something of a girly-girl: I think I make a bubbly first impression, I can have a silly sense of humor, I spend a lot of time thinking about my shoes, and I waste time reading about celebrities. Basically I engage in some frivolity, and I like that about myself. Intellectually, I'm into tax policy; so mostly I figure the patent-leather pumps are a positive indication of well-roundedness. Unfortunately that's not necessarily how others perceive these traits; it seems to me that youthful, stereotypically feminine attributes are frowned upon, especially by the generation of pioneers who broke into the profession.

[More after the jump]

I started thinking about this while reading through the comments in the interview attire forum discussion. Generally, the advice is to wear soemthing conservative and flattering. In the abstract that seems like a good idea, but examples of what not to wear sounded self-punishing to me:

While speaking with a female partner at an informal networking event, she passed along a rule she learned from the senior female partner at her firm: "if you recieve a compliment on an outfit, never wear it again." I think this goes along with the theory that you don't want people to pay more attention to your clothes than to what you have to say.

That's right, you've found and purchased an outfit that people think looks good; that must mean they won't think you're smart. There are sexists out there - so you better make sure your appearance is so bland they can only think about your qualifications and intellectual ability.

This reminds me of a story about a pioneering female U.S. Senator, who consistently demanded more of her female staffers than her male staffers - the justification being that in order to succeed in a male-dominated and discriminatory profession women had to be smarter, faster and better at the same work, so this woman was really doing these women a favor and better preparing them for the future.

My reaction to both these approaches is, "ARE YOU *%$&!ING KIDDING ME?!?!" A legal career is challenging enough without removing all the fun, denying yourself the indulgences, and increasing life's unfairnesses. I don't want to stop complimenting women on their outfits for fear they'll think I'm not paying attention to the rest of them. I don't want to stop wearing everything that's flattering enough to elicit compliments. I don't want to second guess every non-intellectual attention as a sign that my ideas are undervalued. I don't want to hold myself to a higher standard because of my gender.

While I understand that in previous generations women had to model themselves on men in order to break through barriers to women, and that many barriers persist, I don't understand why that approach is still the prevailing one. I am a woman. I used to be a girl. So from time to time, I'm going to act like one. That's right, I might cry, I might giggle, I might go shopping at lunch. If you think less of my work product because of these completely unrelated behaviors then I might identify you as sexist.