Weekly MILS Roundup (Moms in Law School)

The Moms in Law School Roundup posts on Sundays, alternating between blogs by PT-law mom and A Little Fish in Law School (a/k/a butterflyfish). This week is MILS #32, hosted by PT-law mom. It's an easy way to keep up with (and join) a virtual neighborhood of moms in law school!

Thanks to butterflyfish for the tip in the comments [on our previous article about MILS]. Happy Sunday, everybody!

Five Tips for Commuting While Pregnant (and Afterward)

If you missed it, on Friday the Wall Street Journal Juggle blog asked readers to comment on commuting while pregnant. What resulted was a long, long thread of horror stories (from pregnant women forced to stand for long subway rides while fellow passengers feigned sleep) punctuated with a few friendlier tales and lot of people admonishing each other to be more courteous. If you are looking for commiseration, head to the Juggle blog. If you are looking for solutions, just scroll down! I read through the thread to glean tips for Ms. JD readers.

Five tips for commuting while pregnant (and afterward):

1. Carry plenty of plastic bags. The smells on the subway can set off your morning sickness like nothing else. And even if you have a car service, you might need them.

2. Don't be afraid to stare people down on the subway, rubbing your pregnant belly and looking as pathetic as possible. It may be the only way you get a seat.

3. Don't hesitate to politely say, "Excuse me, I'm pregnant. May I share this seat?" A number of passengers explained that they don't want to assume a woman is pregnant and risk insulting her by offering up a seat if she's merely overweight.

4. Use the benches reserved for handicapped and elderly passengers. Those are for you, too. If you feel shy about asking for a seat, know that you're even more in the right to ask for one of these.

The middle three tips all apply after the baby is born, too, when you're carrying a babe-in-arms. Or a babe-in-stroller, as it were. Which brings me to the last tip...

5. Shop carefully for a stroller that folds up compactly. Many passengers complained about deluxe, monster strollers that block subway aisles. After you have the baby, you will obviously have to make your own judgments about what you need. If you can find a more compact stroller, though (or ask for one as a baby shower gift), you may be better off--and find your fellow travelers a little friendlier.

Got any more tips? Leave 'em in the comments. Happy commuting!

Legal recruiter answers the question: will taking maternity leave in my first few years as an associate derail my career?

Ann Israel, a New York legal recruiter with nearly 30 years' experience, answers the question: "Will taking maternity leave in my first couple of years as an associate derail my career permanently?" Her unspoken answer seems to be "yes," although she offers tips to mitigate the problem. Part of me wishes she'd come out and say it--we need frank advice, so we can work around obstacles and eventually get into positions to improve the system.

When I was asked to speak to some undergraduates at a "women in leadership" conference a few months back, my panel got the same question about fitting a pregnancy into a career trajectory. I feel like Ms. Israel, however well-meaning, is disingenuous to advise that if you just work hard enough beforehand, "hopefully... you will be sorely missed" by senior partners. The best time to have a baby if you're a woman in law, the lawyer on the panel agreed with me, is before you leave law school, in the spring of your 3L year. It's the lightest part of law school, in terms of juggling coursework with mood swings and morning sickness. And nobody expects you to be working 90 hours a week the summer after you graduate--that's when you're taking the bar.

My classmates have voted with their feet (or, uh, their wombs?) on this one: there is a mini-epidemic of pregnancy among my 3L friends and acquaintances. Seems like everybody with a committed partner decided to get pregnant in September, and many of them succeeded. Now they're all just starting to show!

[More after the jump]