Best Friends at the Bar: What Women Should Look for in a Law Firm

Editor's Note:  Ms. JD is excited to announce that Susan Smith Blakely, author of Best Friends at the Bar, will be speaking at Ms. JD: She Leads on October 5, 2012. This post originally appeared on the Best Friends at the Bar blog on March 28, 2011.

For you third-year law students, soon your biggest challenge will be finding a job after graduation.  That seems daunting, I know, especially in these economic times, but your hard work will pay off and soon you will be looking critically at firms and other employers and evaluating them for your future needs.

When you are considering that job offer—and you will be—here are some suggestions about what should be important to women lawyers in the workplace.  The information is directed to the law firm employer, but it could just as well be a judicial clerkship or another practice type.

Every time I share this information with the students I speak to at law schools, they urged me to put it on my web site so that they will be able to access it easily when they need it.  So, here it is.

A Call to Incorporate Workplace Flexibility Into Law School Curricula

There's a short piece by Marcy Karin on the Sloan Foundation Work and Family Blog that encourages law school professors to bring the national conversation on workplace flexibility to law schools, in order to "train the next generation of lawyers to critically think about the impact workplace flexibility has on our country and how it can lawfully support both employees and employers." As Karin points out:

The reality is that lawyers can play key roles in many of the decisions regarding increasing the development and dialogue around workplace flexibility. Among others, these roles include drafting workplace employment manuals with workplace flexibility provisions, negotiating collective bargaining language to create flexible options, addressing individual requests for flexibility as they arise, and helping develop what role the government should play in supporting access to workplace flexibility.

While we talked a great deal about work-life flexibility in law school, it was rarely a structured part of the syllabi. And, yet, lawyers can have a huge impact on the future of workplace flexibility--from drafting personnel manuals to helping create phased retirement programs. Karin's suggestion that her law professor colleagues consider incorporating the topic of  workplace flexibility into the law school curricula is worthy of consideration.

Read Karin's full post here.

Not Home for the Holidays

I can’t explain how delighted and pleased I am to have the house to myself. My husband and children left two days ago to drive ten-hours and spend the holiday with his family.  They will be gone for five full days.  As a 3rd year law student, with final exams and papers due in the next few weeks, my family knew I couldn’t spare the time to join them.  Although I have been studying, writing, and wasting little time, so much feels different.

 I can do as I choose without feeling guilty- or at-least worried.  There is no one to be bothered  about my choices- no one to judge my actions or expect things from me. No one to demand or strongly request that I do something- now, soon, before Friday.  I don’t have to alter my behavior to please another.  I can be me. Five full days to schedule my life as I want.  I don’t remember this joy since I lived alone in my twenties. 

It makes me wonder whether there is something not right about me. Shouldn’t I be concerned about why I don’t want to be around people, especially my family, over the Thanksgiving holiday?  Why do I prefer to write papers and prepare for final exams instead of celebrate with family and friends?  Is it law school, age, or just me?

Mommy Law: Lesson Learned

Have you ever noticed how sometimes you have to teach a child the same lesson several times before it really sticks?  Recently I was reminded that this truism applies to ME too.

Many years ago I got my first job working as an assistant for a volunteer program.  In between photocopying and phone calls to volunteers, I chatted with my boss about life.  Most days she had some little nugget of wisdom to offer me.  One time I mentioned that I was feeling overwhelmed about getting started on a big project for school.  Her response was. . .well, obvious: “You’ve probably thought of this, but just make a list of what you need to do and stick to it.”  Of course! 

I know this seems basic, but there are times when all things “basic” seem to fly out the window.  And sometimes a little reminder is all you need to bring common sense back into the picture.  That’s where a simple, well-crafted list comes in.  I remember this conversation from my first job like it was yesterday, so you would think this lesson would have stuck with me.  Clearly it wasn’t enough. 

Last summer I worked as a clerk at a law firm.  One day I chatted with my boss about our kids, and I mentioned how hard it was to get my daughter ready in the morning because she complained about each step in the process.  My boss suggested that I might try making a list.  When her daughter was about 3 ½ she made her a special list to help her get herself ready in the morning.  She made it extra girly, with colored writing and cutesy stickers.

So I tried it.  When my daughter was 3 ½ we sat down together one night and scoured through Microsoft’s online bank of free clipart.  We made a list called “Morning Time.”  At the top is a tiny cartoon picture of a little girl yawning next to the words “Wake Up.”  Somewhere in the middle is a picture of cereal and milk with the words “Eat Breakfast.”  And down towards the bottom is a picture of a pillow and blanket with the words “Make Bed.”  This sounds so simple, I know, but it turned out to be brilliant.  Once again I learned the wisdom of tackling a problem with a good, honest list.

Mommy Law: Three Years in Review

I have spent the last three years juggling law school and family life.  For much of the time it was a really great experience.  For all of the time it was challenging.  And for a small portion of the time it felt like a truly impossible undertaking. 

The tone of my “law school experience” was set on the very first day of Orientation Week.  I was nervous.  Everybody around me seemed nervous.  My fellow classmates and I were herded out of the law school and into a nearby auditorium for a mandatory presentation.  Instead of parading in with everybody else, I ran up to one of the organizers and asked the flustered question, “Is this lecture absolutely, positively required?”  The organizer gave the obvious answer, “Well, yes.”  I followed up, “Well, what happens if we miss?”  Meanwhile, the question I was silently thinking to myself was, “Will they kick me out of law school on the first day if I miss this silly thing?  I promise it’s for a good reason!” 

We talked a bit more, and then I raced out of the building and headed for my car.  I was headed home.  Not because I had just been kicked out of law school (of course!), but because my 13-month-old daughter had a worrisome fever and our only car seat was sitting in my car.  So I raced home to drop off the seat, and then my husband headed to he doctor while I raced back to school.

And it was no big surprise that I hadn’t missed much.  Despite this, I was a nervous wreck.  I wondered whether ALL of law school would be like that day – racing from the responsibilities at home to the responsibilities at school, and then back again as thoughts floated through my head about how I was failing miserably at both endeavors.

In the end, my three years actually WERE a lot like that first day.  The racing didn’t stop and the juggling didn’t stop.  I just got better at it.

Forget the Linen Closet: Taking the Plunge from Law Clerk to Lawyer

I've been talking with some other law clerks at my court who, like me, are on the precipice before plunging into our first "real" law firm jobs.  Being a law clerk at a state appellate court has had some great benefits.  The hours are totally predictable, we have learned a lot, and we have been afforded the time to really discuss and debate the more academic side of the law, as well as seeing the inner workings of the judicial decision-making process.  Now we are about to leave the nest a second time and find out if we really can learn to fly, rather than free-falling into an altogether different career path.  Our law clerk gatherings have resulted in more wonderings and questions about our future careers than anything else.

One reoccurring question is, "Will we really be worked and worked until we get completely burnt out from practicing law?"  My co-worker, Lacey has been hired at a larger, well-known firm that has branch offices all over the state.  Every time she tells someone where she'll be working, she inevitably hears, "A buddy of mine says they work their new associates very, very hard. And the pay is not that great." 

Frankly, the pay is not great for many new associates in this current market, but these types of statements still have her asking questions about setting limits on how much work they give you.  For example, if you already have ten projects that you know are going to take you forty hours each, is it really practical to take on another two projects?  Can you tell your supervising attorney that you are too busy to handle something else?  How will you know when it is appropriate to delegate a task?  Is there a general rule for these types of questions, or is it specific to each firm?

Mommy Law: It's time to ask "the Question"

When is the RIGHT time to have a child? This is the question that has frequently been on my mind in the last few weeks.

As I wrote my last column I decided to do a little advanced preparation for this post. I started asking people “the Question” just to see what sort of answers I might get. I was amazed by how quickly the answers came, particularly from people who hadn’t started a family yet. It was clear that many of the people I asked about the “right” time to have a child had already given it a tremendous amount of thought. Often the answer was on the tip of their tongue.

It was also intriguing to note the similarities and differences in the responses I received. The answers ranged from “when you are ready to give up spontaneous late-night pub outings” to “when you are ready and able to provide a child with the opportunities they deserve.” Several people focused on the importance of having a partner on board that was eager to be part of the process. Having both “time” and “money” were common themes. Another thoughtful answer was, “Anytime. Alternatively, never.”

Interestingly, I heard almost no answers that were directly tied to career milestones.

Thinking Traps Zap Your Resilience- Part 1

Take a moment to think about how much information your brain processes in one day.  It’s A LOT – too much, actually.

Forget the Linen Closet: Can Working Moms Care about Eating Healthy?

Let's face it, the Food War is raging, the corporate giants that prepare our food are not telling us exactly what they're putting in it or how it's prepared, or how it affects our bodies.  I know that pre-packaged foods, fast foods, microwavable dinners, and frozen chicken nuggets are not the best thing to be feeding my hungry little kids. 

But, on the other hand, I feel like I have little time for preparing wholesome meals, shopping around for good deals on produce, and even investigating products to see what I'm actually buying for my family.

Another issue is that attorneys have extremely high rates of heart disease and stroke as compared with the general population.  I'm sure a lot of that is due to stress, but much of it can be attributed to a busy schedule that requires us to dine out with clients or grab fast food on the fly.

I am not writing about this because I'm an expert.  Instead, I'm writing about it because it is an issue on the forefront of my mind every day, three times a day - and I have not figured it out. But I'm trying.

 Here are the steps I'm taking to get my family to eat healthier:

I found a delivery service that will bring fresh, organic produce to our house once a week.  It's about the same price as buying the fruits and veggies from the grocery store, and maybe even less expensive, and it saves me at least one shopping trip.

Mommy Law: Pretend Play and Balancing Games

My daughter had several dolls lined up on an oversized chair, and she was pretending to tuck them in.  She arranged a blanket over the dolls, making adjustments and patting them on the head as she worked.  She asked how they were feeling and reassured them that she would take good care of them.  Then all of a sudden my daughter sat up very straight.  She said in the sweetest of voices, “Wait just a minute, I’ll be right back.”  She hurried over to a nearby wall as she explained, “Don’t worry. I just have to take care of one thing.”  She tapped all ten of her fingers against the wall, occasionally looking lovingly over her shoulder at the dolls while cooing, “You’re OK.  I’m just right here.”  She seemed to reach a stopping place with the tapping, and then she rushed back over to the dolls and started to caress their heads.  I gave my husband a puzzled look.  He explained that she was playing “Mommy.”  She was pretending that the wall was her laptop, and she alternated between typing and doting on her pretend babies.

I admit I was slightly horrified when I first understood that my daughter was imitating me.  Why was she rushing away from her pretend babies to mess with that wall?  Why did she act like she was on such an important mission?  And then why did it take her so long before she came back to tend to them again?  I admit it.  At first I had a classic case of “Mommy guilt.”  Was my daughter abandoning her babies in favor of email?