You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a First Impression: Looking Like a Lawyer, Female Edition

 The following blog post was a big hit when originally published on PhiLAWdelphia, the official blog of the Philadelphia Bar Association's Young Lawyers Division. So, we thought we'd share it with the Ms. JD readership. Author Maria E. Harris is a member of the Young Lawyers Division's Executive Committee.

The following tips are based upon interviews with female attorneys selected for their reputations as classy, professional and stylish members of the bar. They range in age from thirties to fifties and practice in a variety of settings, from government to private practice, both plaintiff and defense.

Know your audience. Dressing as an attorney depends not only on who you are but also whom you are interacting with.  It can vary depending on whether you are going to court, a networking event, appearing at the office or simply going to dinner with co-workers.

Raising the Bar: What I tell friends who ask my advice on going to law school.

... don't do it!! Even if the Bar, the clients, and the insane hours you'll have if you're lucky enough to get a top-level job don't deter you, these things should: 

Debt. College graduates are struggling with debt; law schools leave their students with a crippling amount of it. According to an NPR article, the current loan setup for college and graduate schools will create what is known as loan perpetuity: getting a higher education degree will guarantee debt, but not a job. Such debt impacts both the debtor and their families and partners, and can even determine long-term decisions such as whether a house or children can be afforded. 

Best Friends at the Bar

WOMEN ARE NOT AN INTEREST GROUP

Today I need to talk to you about women.  Not just women lawyers, but women in general.  Women are getting a lot of attention these days, but let's make sure that we understand why and what the downside can be unless we are vigilant.

Recently, in an April 6th story, the Associated Press reported that President Obama announced that women are not an interest group.  Although that sounds a little off-putting, I am happy with that logic and conclusion.  No matter what your politics are---and I do not get into politics in this forum---I think that you will agree that women do NOT want to be an interest group.  We might want to be a force, a solidarity group or even some kind of sisterhood, but we do not want to be an interest group.  Here is why.

Learn To Be Mad Women Lawyers

I have had lots of time to reflect recently as I recover from knee surgery---an old ski injury flaring up again.  Post-op recovery includes lots of time on a Continuous Passive Motion machine and a second machine to cool the surgery site---not a happy place to be for someone active like me.  But, my daughter knew exactly what to do to keep me content, and she introduced me to the reruns of the popular TV show Mad Men.  So, I currently am wading my way through Season 3 and rejecting pain medication so that I can stay awake and become completely addicted to Mad Men.  So far, it's working!

I love a lot about Mad Men because it reminds me of all the 50’s and 60’s stuff in my house growing up.   My dad even had one of those "man’s valet" things for hanging out his clothes for the next day, like the one in Don and Betsy Draper’s suburban bedroom.  However, that is where the similarities between my father and Don Draper end, and that is a great relief!

Best Friends at the Bar: Lawyers Need to Lighten Up and Listen to Aunt Betty

Sunday was April Fools Day, and it got me thinking about foolish behavior.  Sometimes I like foolish behavior, especially from lawyers, because lawyers take themselves far too seriously.  We need to do something about that.  All of these grim long faces are not going to improve the profession at all.  We need to "lighten up" a bit.

Well, I may have discovered some help for all of us.  My Aunt Betty has come to our rescue, and that is certainly not because she likes lawyers.  I think it is possible that she has met a few she likes, but, as a class, we are not high on her list.  However, if Aunt Betty knows a thing or two, it is about having a good time and the power of laughter.  This is the same beloved Aunt who taught me to play poker and to pay attention to my feminine wiles, so she is not to be underestimated.  She is also the woman responsible for the biggest shamrock I have ever seen that is painted on a water tower in a Wisconsin village to commemorate Aunt Betty's Irish heritage.  As I said, Aunt Betty is not to be underestimated.

Best Friends at the Bar: Women Lawyers Must Take Advantage of the New Rules for Success

I read an interesting article in the National Law Journal recently.  The March 16th on-line edition included an article entitled "Women's Successes in School....Bleed Away in Their Paychecks", which offered some insight from author Anya Kamenetz that lines up nicely with my own thoughts on what women need to succeed in the law profession.

The particular point that interested me most was that girls outperform boys in school from the time they enter kindergarten----for some very good reasons.  Girls learn to line up neatly, girls are less disruptive and listen better than boys, and girls follow the rules.  As a result, girls succeed in pleasing their teachers, getting recognition and achieving good grades.  That works very well---in fact, it works well all the way through law school---until the game changes.  Suddenly the personal characteristics being valued are not the same.  Suddenly the academic achievement does not translate into higher salaries for women than men----or even equal salaries for that matter.

True, a lot of this has to do with the time that women take out for child-rearing, but there is more to this.  And it is more that we can control and change.

Best Friends at the Bar: Women Lawyers, Lose the Girl Talk

Editor's Note:  Ms. JD is excited to announce that Susan Smith Blakely, author of Best Friends at the Bar, will be speaking at Ms. JD: She Leads on October 5, 2012. This post originally appeared on the Best Friends at the Bar blog on March 8, 2012.

Here is some great advice from my friend Jezra Kaye. Jezra is a speaker coach and communications consultant who shows women how to highlight their achievements and ask for what they want.  Jezra helps women attorneys become more skillful negotiators, bolder rainmakers, advocates who exude confidence, and women who speak up for their own career success and satisfaction.  Check her out on www.speakupforsuccess.com or contact her at jezra@yourownadvocate.com to find out more about her background and services.

Here is some of Jezra’s brand of solid advice about speaking up for yourself and getting ahead.

Best Friends at the Bar

DO WOMEN PROFESSIONALS LACK AMBITION? REALLY?

POSTED ON FEBRUARY 21, 2012

Best Friends at the Bar

SPORTS AND LAW—AN INTERESTING INTERPLAY FOR WOMEN

POSTED ON FEBRUARY 6, 2012

Best Friends at the Bar

WOMEN LAWYERS LISTEN UP—MORE WISDOM FROM SHERYL SANDBERG

POSTED ON NOVEMBER 22, 2011

By now you know that I recommend just about everything that Sheryl Sandberg says.  She is the ultra savvy former exec with Google and the current exec with Facebook.   About five years ago, Sheryl Sandberg went out on a limb and started to talk about women succeeding in business—-about the same time that I was writing my book for young women lawyers.  There is so much overlap to our themes, and it is no wonder I feel akin to her messages.  So, I share them with you as often as possible.

Ms. Sandberg had yet more words of wisdom in a recent speech at a huge celebration for women in technology, as covered in The Grindstone, http://thegrindstone.com/role-models/video-sheryl-sandberg-s... As usual, she said a lot that matters a lot.  Here are five key recommendations for women who want to get ahead in business and become leaders.  (Recall, of course, that law is business.  Oh, yes it is!)