A rose by any other name….

It is said that "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet" but is that really true? I am getting married after graduation / the bar. I chose a long engagement purposefully for various reasons; first I’m just too busy and have no money but beyond those reasons a piece of me can’t fathom the idea of working so hard and then having a diploma with a name that is not mine.

Don’t get me wrong; I love my fiancé and I actually don’t even talk to my dad but that is not the point. My “maiden name” is who I will always be versus my “married name” is for all intensive purposes a borrowed identity. I would not have said yes if I did not want to be with him the rest of my life but the fact of the matter is we do not know what will happen tomorrow. I am trying to figure out how to approach this professionally as I do not want to develop a reputation for years and then have to reinvent myself but I also know it would devastate his family if I did not take his name.

Ironically, I already feel judged for even struggling with this decision.  Growing up my mom never changed her name and it was difficult in school with administration or paper work with having different names, so I am also struggling with not wanting my kids to go through that. I think the solution I have come up with is to use MyFirst (Hislast as a middle name) MyLast. So let’s say his name is John Smith and mine Jane Doe I would do Jane S. Doe. What do you guys think of this solution and do you have any ideas for a better solution?  

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