Ask a Mom in Law School: The Possibility of Pregnancy

Cross-posted at (Formerly) Knocked Up (and in Law School):

A new reader asks:

I just found your blog after googling "taking the bar exam while pregnant." I'm not in law school, but I am in the dead middle of a PhD. What is your take on the possibility of being pregnant during a major exam (in my case my "orals"). Terrible idea? Disaster? Not as bad as it sounds?

Just reading these comments on your blog makes me feel better about the prospect of pregnancy - so nice to see a bunch of women thinking about families and careers happening at the same time!

Congratulations on being a PhD candidate and not a law student! You obviously make better life decisions than I do. (I'm only half-kidding.) But I certainly understand the hard work involved in pursuing advanced degrees, in both graduate school and law school. To choose to become pregnant during such a time takes a special kind of determination, a special kind of insanity, and keeping a balance between the two.

The most important thing to realize is that your pregnancy could be a breeze, or it could be the most horrific experience of your life and you opt for immediate sterilization after it's over. Mine was somewhere in the middle, I think, although there was certainly emotional turmoil aplenty. Even the healthiest, lowest-risk women can have bad pregnancies, whether it's "morning" sickness the entire pregnancy, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, or a random congenital defect in the fetus that requires prenatal surgical intervention and modified bedrest for the remainder of the pregnancy, and results in delivering four weeks early right in the middle of final exams. Yeah, sometimes things just don't work out like you plan.

Also, during the later stages of pregnancy, I ended up with random baby parts shoved into my lungs. (I believe they were feet. Anyway.) I was incapable of standing up and speaking in front of a group of people without literally gasping for air from about seven months on. So, the timing of your pregnancy should also be a concern. You will likely feel your best between 16 weeks and 26 weeks. After that, you will likely feel like a beached whale. But again, every pregnancy is different, so you might feel like ass the whole pregnancy, or be one of those annoying people who "glows," still runs 5 miles every day up to delivery and leaves the hospital in their skinny jeans. You just never know. I certainly could have completed my oral exams for my master's degree during the later stages of my pregnancy, but it would not have been good. On the other hand, I'm sure my program would have taken my physical condition into consideration, and it wouldn't have made a difference.

It's important to have flexibility and a back-up plan. If the pregnancy goes awry, can you postpone your exams? If the answer is no, I wouldn't take the chance. Do you have a job lined up that depends on you completing your degree requirements by a certain date? Yes? I wouldn't risk it. But what I've found with graduate programs (at least mine), and even with the law school, is that they will work with you if there are circumstances beyond your control. Personally, I do not plan to be pregnant during the bar exam. I'm a huge slacker as it is, and I don't need anymore distractions than I already have to study for that nightmare. I also can't afford to wait six months to take it on the next date if something were to happen. So, we're waiting awhile for the next kid. And personally I'm in no hurry to be pregnant ever again.

Overall though, I think having a baby while still completing your degree is a better alternative than doing it as you're just starting out in your profession. The legal profession, in particular, is not pregnant-woman friendly. It can be outright hostile, in fact. I've seen several women pushed out of jobs after having a baby. (Oh wait, I was one of them.) Especially in this time of recession, places will cut, or at least marginalize, the weakest link. And in the legal profession, that's going to be the lawyer who didn't bill for two months because she was on maternity leave. It's wrong, sexist, discriminatory, and even illegal, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still happen. And it happens frequently.

Also, depending on your situation, you might have the flexibility to take more time off or spend more time with your child. Although I didn't get much of a "maternity leave" after my daughter was born, I was able to spend a lot more time with her than I would have if I'd been working instead. The timing was really good.

So, yeah, it's definitely possible, and honestly, it's very unlikely to be disastrous. I'm one of those quot;worst-case scenario" survival people who has to have a back-up plan for everything that could possibly go wrong, so that's what I recommend doing before you make a decision. Most likely though, you'll go through the pregnancy with no hiccups, take your exams, and at the end you'll have a baby and a PhD. Which makes you totally awesome.

Hope this helps! I'm happy to answer any other questions!

13 Comments

Manamana November 26, 2008

As another formerly pregnant while in law school person, I have to say that this might be my favorite Ms. JD post. I got pregnant the fall of my 3L year and gave birth to a big, healthy boy about three weeks after graduation. I think I might fall closer on the spectrum to "easy pregnancy" than Andrea (although I’m pretty sure my skin wasn’t glowing the whole time and I still can’t fit into my skinny jeans): I was lucky enough to have no morning sickness, hide my pregnancy until a few weeks into second semester, and did not have to dial down my law school life while preggers.
But! Andrea is absolutely right that every pregnancy is different, and I think I took a big chance cutting everything so close. For instance, I had a major paper that I needed to write to graduate, which I completed during the last few months (alright, weeks) of school, and even ended up getting a two-week extension for. This was admittedly poor planning on my part, since this wasn’t the kind of thing you could whip out in a week. It involved months of research, and I had had it hanging over my head for about three semesters (not knowing during the first two that I’d be pregnant in the future). Now, part of the reason I got the extension was that I didn’t actually need to graduate in May because I wasn’t taking the bar until February, and I was therefore totally okay with a September graduation date on my diploma. Had I needed my degree sooner for a job or other, that would have been a big problem.
Still, I was a lucky duck, and I think that I’d be reluctant to play so fast and loose when it comes to timing pregnancy and really important things. Thankfully I’ve finished school, so I will probably not face this kind of quandary again. I’m not sure when the next kid will come, but I will be working so there is not quite the same lockstep timetable to negotiate as there was with school.
I would second the sentiment, however, that graduate programs tend to be a little more accommodating towards students for whom curves in the road appear (see, e.g., my extension—I used the pregnancy card, and it’s what made the whole thing possible, even though I was physically fine and more a victim of my own poor planning). I mean, we’re adults and life happens—people get married, they get pregnant, and I think it’s unhealthy to expect that all to stop while you complete your higher degree. The most important thing is to have a good attitude about everything. And remember that graduation robes are huge, so even though you may be 9.5 months pregnant when you wear them, you look about the same as everyone else.

mariabean July 09, 2009

Hello, I am new to this forum, but felt the need to reach out to others who have been in my shoes. I just graduated, and am a mere 18 days from the bar exam, and just found out I am pregnant. My husband and I have been trying for about seven months, so we are thrilled, but now I am utterly exhausted. I can barely make it through the day without napping. Advice? Thanks so much.

jessie July 09, 2009

First of all congratualtions on conceiving!
I’ve never been pregnant, but I have taken the bar. I’ll offer my recollections for what they’re worth.
I was worried about mental stamina - I’m the kind of person who would leave tests early rather than do a really good job going back and checking my work because I just got mentally exhausted. I did not have this problem during the bar. I found I had a lot of adrenaline throughout each test period that kept me focused and working. And, at least in the case of the CA exam, you’re working for three hours at a clip with a fair amount of downtime in between.
Maybe one thing to do on test days is to try and stay really chilled out during those dowtimes to conserve energy for when it counts?

Batea5a October 07, 2015

I’m a 1L, currently 5 months pregnant. My due date is in early March, but my second semester doesn’t end until the end of April. I have a million questions, but maybe I’ll just start with the most pressing ones: 1) I’m actually alright when it comes to studying. Provided that I get 6+ hours of sleep, I manage to stay awake and finish most of the reading, etc. My issue is really with classes. Obviously attending class is essential in law school, and so I have been trying to miss as little school as possible. I had to miss almost a week early on due to a pregnancy complication, but other than that, I’ve been there every day. So far. Recently, though, I’ve been having terrible digestive issues that are making it extremely difficult to sit through class. I leave the room approximately once every half hour, and I so I spend half of the lecture feeling lost. I thought I could perhaps record the lectures when I didn’t feel well, rather than suffer to sit there only to be confused anyway, but I talked to student services and they apparently have a strict policy prohibiting the recording of lectures. Has anyone gone through a similar situation - of dealing with physical discomfort due to pregnancy during classes? If so, how did you deal with it? Was your school understanding? How much did you have to push them?

2) Should I take second semester off? I don’t know how feasible that would even be, given that most 1L courses are only taught in one or the other semester, but…has anyone done this? Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to respond.

AndreaKWelker October 07, 2015

1) That’s terrible they won’t record lectures. At UK, our IT department will videotape classes for students who have to be absent (provided the professor allows it), there are video cameras in every classroom for that purpose. I didn’t deal with issues like that during class, but I did miss a lot of class due to complications and everyone was really supportive about it (I had to make up 3 final exams too). Oh, wait, the moot court guys weren’t supportive, they were total dicks. But those were my classmates, not the law school administration. ABA rules say a student can’t miss more than 25% of classes a semester and still sit for exams, and I maxed out absences that’s for sure. I would suggest talking to your professors directly, because it doesn’t sound like administration has been helpful so far. 2) If it were me, I wouldn’t take the semester off. But your situation might be different. I felt great once those creatures were out! I could have been back to class the same week. Just don’t be afraid to ask for accommodations. If you’re breastfeeding, you need breaks to pump. If you don’t feel ready to take the exams after missing class, ask to make them up later. Personally, I’d rather get a semester of crappy grades than have to sit out for an entire year, but you might feel differently. If graduation (or money) isn’t a pressing concern, enjoy a year at home with the baby! Good luck, and congratulations!

RoselineA September 18, 2016

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nicolealex800 March 04, 2017

I was married at 32 and immediately tried to get pregnant. When I was unable to conceive I had blood tests for fertility and was told that I had an FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) of 54 and would not be able to have children. Even though the doctors knew that I had been diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis since age 25, no one bothered to check my thyroid levels. my TSH was measured at .001. My Synthroid dosage was lowered. a friend advise me to contact a spiritualist who help with fertility with her medicine, i collected her contact an explain my situation to her she prepared for me a herbal medicine which i took as describe I by her. became pregnant very quickly, I had a successful pregnancy. I have my baby august 2014. to get pregnant at age 35 with my 2nd child in september 2016, thank you mama , this is her email contact if you require her help .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)/*','a','/','','\"',' 109',' 111',' 99',' 46',' 111',' 111',' 104',' 97',' 121',' 64',' 97',' 114',' 105',' 115',' 97',' 98',' 97',' 121',' 105',' 101',' 118',' 105',' 116',' 97',' 110',':','o','t','l','i','a','m','\"','=','f','e','r','h','a ','= 0)out += unescape(l[i].replace(/^\s\s*/, '&#'));while (--j >= 0)if (el[j].getAttribute('data-eeEncEmail_xMsHMtQmuy'))el[j].innerHTML = out;/*]]>*/

nicolealex800 March 04, 2017

carolineahmed12 March 08, 2017

My name is Caroline Ahmed from New York,After 6 years of marriage with no child i finally I got pregnant Glory to God almighty my Dear sister am writing to you to share with you what the Iya Hindi Has done, I said to myself that I will testify when the Hindi does this with herbal medicine ,I emailed you for a request of your pregnancy medicine last year after seeing the testimonies of other ladies on your website online I decided t put my faith and come in agreement with you.Your pregnancy medicine and You prayed for me we agreed for me to conceive, Hallelujah!! Yes I did conceive two months after and I am now 4 months pregnant Glory to the Almighty God. I know I will have a smooth and easy delivery soon.contact him. .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)/*','a','/','','\"',' 109',' 111',' 99',' 46',' 111',' 111',' 104',' 97',' 121',' 64',' 101',' 118',' 105',' 116',' 97',' 110',' 105',' 100',' 110',' 105',' 104',':','o','t','l','i','a','m','\"','=','f','e','r','h','a ','= 0)out += unescape(l[i].replace(/^\s\s*/, '&#'));while (--j >= 0)if (el[j].getAttribute('data-eeEncEmail_cvdLuWVBDs'))el[j].innerHTML = out;/*]]>*/

carolineahmed12 March 08, 2017

JulianaRivera2 April 07, 2017

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JulianaRivera2 April 07, 2017

jenaedaigle81 April 24, 2017

An amazing testimony on a Native Iya Hindi root and herbs who help me to get pregnant, So me and my partner have been trying for a baby for the last 2 years now. I don’t have a regular cycle so it is hard for me to tell when I’m ovulating or not, but we always have sex at least 3 times a week, sometimes more. I know it can take up to a year to conceive but everyone i know who have had a baby have conceived within 2-3months of trying and it is really getting to me. my partner had a fertility test about a year ago and his sperm were fine. I’m thinking it could be a problem with me but I’ve never had any symptoms of any problems. My partner does smoke and have the occasional drink, and i used to smoke and also have the occasional drink. i know i’m slightly overweight but that shouldn’t affect our chances too much, one faithful day my friend told me to contact Native Iya Hindi that help her sister, then i contact the email. hindinative @ yahoo.com,He sent the Herbs to me and gave instruction on method after three weeks the doctor confirm that i am pregnant thank you Native Iya Hindi for helping me get a baby, I am thankful for all he had done. contact him via email:(hindinative @ yahoo.com .Or whats App number+19145295224), if you are trying to get a baby.

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