Women_Lawyers_News

Do you have a “yes” reflex?

Women often say yes too much and without taking into consideration the effects of saying yes.  Saying yes is a habit, a reflex, a natural response that we feel pressured to give.  We have a “yes reflex.”  We are eager to please and afraid of the consequences of saying no.  However, we do not always consider the consequences of saying yes.

For example, do you have enough time to take on the project you said yes to?  There are a limited number of hours in the day, and that project is taking time away from something else – your family and friends? your health? a hobby? a better project?  Also consider how the project will help you, other than avoiding the discomfort and fear of saying no.  Will it further your career?  Allow you to make great connections?  Is it something you are passionate about? Saying yes right away is very dangerous, especially when the ask is for something in the future, because the future is a magical land where our time has no limit.

We will say yes to things say a few months or a year down the road, not thinking of the time required to complete the project, and/or thinking that it is so far away and imagining we will find the time.  We say yes to things in the future because they don’t seem real.

Ignore your Yes Reflex.  Don’t use it, wait, process, answer later.  Even if you think you know the answer or it doesn’t seem like a big deal to say yes.  Get in the habit of analyzing the ask and its affect on your time, career, and health before you say yes.

Make it easier on yourself - here's a checklist of things to ask yourself before you say yes.  

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