jennis8

Not Home for the Holidays

I can’t explain how delighted and pleased I am to have the house to myself. My husband and children left two days ago to drive ten-hours and spend the holiday with his family.  They will be gone for five full days.  As a 3rd year law student, with final exams and papers due in the next few weeks, my family knew I couldn’t spare the time to join them.  Although I have been studying, writing, and wasting little time, so much feels different.

 I can do as I choose without feeling guilty- or at-least worried.  There is no one to be bothered  about my choices- no one to judge my actions or expect things from me. No one to demand or strongly request that I do something- now, soon, before Friday.  I don’t have to alter my behavior to please another.  I can be me. Five full days to schedule my life as I want.  I don’t remember this joy since I lived alone in my twenties. 

It makes me wonder whether there is something not right about me. Shouldn’t I be concerned about why I don’t want to be around people, especially my family, over the Thanksgiving holiday?  Why do I prefer to write papers and prepare for final exams instead of celebrate with family and friends?  Is it law school, age, or just me?

2 Comments

jessie

I don’t have kids so I’m not in the same situation, but I can tell you that now that her kids are out of the house, my mom likes nothing better than being there by herself. Sometimes I’ll call and “ask, what are you up?” and she’ll answer “nothing” in the same voice that I would use to describe eating my favorite dessert.
Glad you enjoyed your break!

sintecho

a friend who lives apart from her husband for a few months out of the year for work reasons was just asking me the same thing!  Maybe the real problem is that not enough people think it’s okay to have some time just for themselves.  Plus, law school is so stressful that I always appreciated not having other demands on my time and energy when things were peaking (like final exams). I think you’re normal!

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