By Kate A From Women Lawyers News • October 15, 2018
On Facebook recently, I did a live video talking about this weird issue I see where when we tackle something tough, but we’re uncomfortable or nervous doing it, we feel like it doesn’t count. Let’s say you have a difficult conversation you need to have with someone at work, or maybe you’re negotiating your compensation, or giving a presentation, and you’re nervous about it. Then you do it. And you’re nervous and uncomfortable the whole time.
But you did it.
This strange thing happens where, even though we did it, because we didn’t feel comfortable doing it, it seems like it doesn’t count. We still feel like we’re not actually good at it, like we’re not the kind of person who can do that sort of thing. It doesn’t help that often we watch other people doing the same thing and they don’t seem to be nervous at all. (Of course, they probably are.) What matters is that you’re taking these things on, that you’re doing it, not that you’re comfortable doing it.
Being uncomfortable or nervous is totally normal. It doesn’t mean you’re not prepared or that you won’t be good at whatever you’re about to do. It just means you brain is normal. Your brain is trying to avoid danger, and that presentation or conversation seems dangerous. So, even if you can do it and even if you’re super prepared, your brain is using that discomfort to send it’s “Danger!” message.
But most of the good stuff is on the other side of discomfort. I like to say I never accomplished anything really great without a few butterflies in my stomach.
The important thing is that you did it and that you can do those things. Your brain overreacting is no reason to think otherwise. Plus, over time, your brain will catch up and realize that tough conversations or presentations are not that scary after all, and it will calm down.
So, what are you nervous about? What makes you uncomfortable? Are you doing it anyway?
Tell your brain to chill, because you got this.
PS - I'm working on getting over the discomfort of putting myself out there on social media so I can reach and help other women. Come say hi on Instagram and we'll work on this together!