We have all entered a room we never expected to be in.

Sometimes it is a literal room: a conference table filled with people who seem more seasoned, more credentialed, and more confident than you feel in that moment. Sometimes it is a role, a position, or a space of influence where people with your background are seldom represented. When that happens, the question becomes much deeper than “How did I get here?” It becomes “How do I show up?”

How you prepare to occupy this new territory is not something that happens overnight. It is a skill you must develop through repetition, reflection, and a willingness to be uncomfortable. For many of us, especially those entering spaces we were never taught to navigate, preparation does not look like having all the answers in advance. It means developing the capacity to step into unfamiliar situations with intention and openness.

As Shirley Chisholm famously said, “If they don't give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.” That advice captures the courage, resourcefulness, and persistence required to claim space that was not originally built for you. It also sets the tone for the advice I offer young women and students about stepping into leadership, public service, and professional spaces that may feel intimidating or unfamiliar. Shirley Chisholm’s advice reminds us that entering a space is only the start; what follows is learning how to stand tall, build meaningful connections, and step confidently into your full potential.

Lead with Inquisitivity, Not Self-Doubt

When a student or mentee asks me what to do if they find themselves at a table they never expected to be at, my advice is this: lead with inquisitivity, not self-doubt. I like to tell people that my inquisitive nature is my superpower. I try to approach every new experience with curiosity, not because it comes naturally or because I am immune to self-doubt, but because curiosity is a strategy. That mindset is especially important for those of us who did not grow up around people working in public service, law, or government. It is also the reality for many of the students I work with: first-generation college students who are navigating systems not built with them in mind.

The power of cultivating an inquisitive nature is that it gives you permission not to already know everything. It reframes the moment as a learning opportunity rather than a performance. It encourages you to listen closely, observe dynamics, ask thoughtful questions, and pick up on the rules that no one bothered to write down. It takes some of the pressure off, and that space is where growth happens. As such, curiosity is active, not passive. It means engaging, offering your perspective, and trusting that your lived experience adds value. For so many women, particularly women in public service, stepping into these spaces is already an act of courage. Curiosity is what makes that act sustainable. When you enter intimidating spaces, ask what you can learn and who you can learn it from. Perhaps most importantly, remind yourself that you are in that room for a reason. Someone saw potential in you, even if you are still learning to see it in yourself.

Leadership Pipelines Don’t Build Themselves

One of the most energizing parts of my work is mentoring young women who are interested in public service. I experience this in programs like NEW Leadership® Virginia. Each summer, students from across Virginia, many who are first-generation without built-in networks, come together for a week that reshapes what leadership can look like.

At the beginning of the week, the questions they ask me are honest and deeply familiar:

“How do I break into this field if no one I know has done it?”
“What if I mess up and let my teammates down?”

They ask these questions because they are used to stepping into rooms they were never historically invited into. What I tell them, and what I see play out through the week, is that leadership and resilience grow in environments where people support you in cultivating the belief that you belong there. NEW Leadership® creates exactly that kind of space: one where students are allowed to try, stumble, rethink, and try again. No one thrives in public service alone. And when that support exists, something powerful happens. By the third or fourth day, the questions shift:

“How can I use my voice most effectively?”
“How do I step into power in a way that lifts others up?”

That shift from do I belong to how do I lead is everything.

Other programs, including Running Start and Women Leading Government also exist precisely because access, mentorship, and confidence are not evenly distributed, and they know that leadership pipelines don’t build themselves. As Running Start says in their value statement, “[we] equip participants with the confidence, capabilities, and connections they need to run and win. We seek to increase the confidence of our participants while acknowledging the serious systemic barriers to political parity.” Ms. JD also has numerous initiatives designed with these goals top of mind. The free online community for women in law strives to give voice to why it matters that women continue to overcome barriers to achieve gender parity in the profession. For young professionals, the LadderHer Up retreat serves as a launchpad for all associates in their first ten years of practice to connect with one another and learn from those who have climbed ahead. Together, participants “build community, expand their networks, and rise — one rung at a time.”

So when young women ask me for advice about entering the legal field, I usually share three things. First, lead with an inquisitive nature. You don’t have to know everything to begin, you just have to be willing to learn. Second, seek out rooms where people will have your back. Community isn’t optional, it’s infrastructure. Third, never underestimate the power of your lived experience. The very perspective that makes you feel different is often what the room is missing.

Why Community Is Not Optional

I was recently speaking on a panel at a women’s conference when the moderator asked, “Do you have a personal board of directors or kitchen cabinet you rely on when making big moves?”

Without hesitation, my answer was yes.

The reason I am where I am today, doing the work I do, is because of the incredible network of supporters behind me. Every transition in my career was made possible because of relationships I built: mentors who encouraged me, colleagues who opened doors, and peers who collaborated with me on shared projects.

In the legal field, we talk about networking a lot, but too often it is framed as a transaction: collecting business cards and LinkedIn connections. Some of my closest mentors are people I reached out to simply because I was genuinely curious about their stories, how they built their careers, what choices shaped their path, and what lessons they learned along the way. Real networking is not networking, it is community building. More precisely, it is about cultivating authentic relationships with people who recognize your potential and are invested in your growth. Research has consistently shown that mentorship and sponsorship are key drivers of women’s advancement, not optional add-ons. Yet, many women I interact with fail to understand the difference between the two. As a 2023 Gallup article puts it, “A sponsor opens the door to opportunities for another employee, while a mentor supports and guides an employee so that they can open the door for themselves.”

So, why do we need to invest in both? Only 23 percent of women reported having a sponsor, compared to 30% of men, and women are 24 percent less likely than men to get advice from senior leaders. However, employees benefit immensely from these relationships. Employees with either a mentor or sponsor are more than twice as likely as those without to strongly agree that their organization provides a clear plan for their career development. Further, employees with formal mentors and those with formal sponsors are, respectively, 58 percent and 48 percent more likely to strongly agree that their workplace provides equal opportunities for all employees to advance to senior management.

One actionable way to cultivate those relationships is by creating your own mentoring circle, a concept highlighted by Louise A. LaMothe, former chair of the ABA Section of Litigation. Instead of relying on a single mentor, a mentoring circle brings together people at different stages of their careers, from senior lawyers to mid-level practitioners and junior lawyers, to meet regularly, share experiences, and offer guidance in a supportive, structured environment. LaMothe’s circles met once a month, followed a predictable schedule, and maintained confidentiality so participants felt comfortable sharing challenges and ideas. By intentionally including diverse perspectives and encouraging every member to speak, these circles can help participants gain insight, access opportunities, and build a network of trusted advisors.

I tell my students all the time: find people who are doing work that excites you and reach out to them. Ask how they got there and what they wish they had known earlier. Better yet, offer to buy them a coffee or ask if the would be willing to hop on Zoom for fifteen minutes. One of the most transformative opportunities in my own career came from exactly that kind of outreach: a cold email, followed by, perhaps embarrassingly, a DM on Instagram. I had identified an organization that felt like a dream fit by looking at the work they were doing and tracing the paths of the people involved. When they asked if I could meet in D.C. that week for lunch and an interview, I bought a plane ticket from Minneapolis to Washington that evening.

I’m not saying everyone needs to hop on a plane at a moment’s notice. But I am saying that those moments matter. Making the effort to connect, especially before you feel “ready,” can change the trajectory of your career. As another mentor of mine once said, “Curiosity opens the door, but it is community that keeps it open.”

Keeping Your Seat at the Table

What inspires me the most about the next generation of women leaders is their energy. It is a kind of energy that moves things forward. I see it every day in my students and especially in programs designed for young women. They come in ready to ask hard questions, challenge assumptions, and try things they have never done before. I notice their desire to jump in with both feet before they feel perfectly prepared, perhaps because they feel responsible for the world they are inheriting.

Importantly, this energy is not performative, it is purposeful. It shows up in late nights fine-tuning mock legislative hearing arguments, in long conversations about how to make policy more inclusive, and in the spark that happens when they sit across from women leaders and realize this type of work is possible for them.

If there is one thing I hope readers take from this piece: you do not need to arrive fully formed to belong. Curiosity and an inquisitive nature will help you navigate unfamiliar spaces. Courage and community will help you own your seat at the table without apologizing for it.

For women entering law, public service, or leadership spaces that weren’t designed with them in mind, the path forward does not have to be lonely or linear. Reach out. Ask questions. Build your kitchen cabinet. When you find yourself in a room you never expected to be in, remember: you are not there by accident. You are there because you have something to uniquely contribute.

Shea Holman Killian is an Assistant Professor of Legal Studies at George Mason University, where she teaches various law and government courses and guides students through the Jurisprudence Learning Community (JPLC). She also serves as a member of the Schar School of Policy and Government’s Gender and Policy Center advisory board, contributing her expertise to advancing gender equity in policy and governance. Outside of George Mason, Shea serves as Counsel at the Purple Method, providing strategic legal guidance, overseeing policy development, and collaborating with stakeholders to create safer and more equitable workplaces.