Ethics is “the disciplined concern with what is morally good and bad and morally right and wrong” (source). Ethics are a guiding star in a legal career; you take courses related to ethics and professional responsibility in law school and you read cases that grapple with the idea of “right” and “wrong” and how the law addresses those issues. In your career, you will likely find yourself in situations that challenge your definition of morality.
In this next post of the Wellness in the Legal Profession series, I had the opportunity to connect with a person who has learned some deep lessons about ethics: Bill Carlson. I met Bill through an organization that we both volunteer for called DEFY Ventures. Through his own experiences and his desire to give back through organizations like DEFY, Bill has also learned how gratitude can support a strong ethical foundation for your life and career. I’m excited to share his story and wisdom with you.
Gabriela Brunner: How has gratitude changed your life?
Bill Carlson: Before discovering the power of gratitude—and realizing that it is the foundation of true happiness—I believed that possessions, money, and status were the keys to fulfillment. I constantly found myself chasing the idea of "I will be happy when…"—when I reached a certain income level, when I acquired something new, when I achieved the next milestone. The problem with this mindset is that enough is never enough. The pursuit is endless because wants are insatiable, and I had confused wants with needs.
Through self-reflection and gratitude, a shift began to take place—one that started while I was in prison. The more I practiced noticing and appreciating what I already had, the more I realized that happiness wasn’t about acquiring more; it was about recognizing the abundance already present in my life. Instead of focusing on what I lacked, I began to find fulfillment in what was already there.
Some might argue that it’s easier to be grateful in prison, where the distractions of materialism are stripped away, making it simpler to find joy in the small things. But true change isn’t about circumstance, it’s about mindset. This August will mark five years since I returned home, and gratitude continues to play a crucial role in keeping me grounded and aligned with the lessons I learned.
The truth is, I am a recovering materialist. I recognize that avoiding the trap of equating "more stuff" with happiness is a lifelong challenge, and I, like many, must resist confusing short-term pleasure with long-lasting fulfillment. Gratitude serves as my anchor, reminding me not to chase butterflies—seeking happiness in external things—but instead to cultivate it from within. Through both self-reflection and research, I have learned that true happiness isn’t something to be pursued; it’s something to be recognized and nurtured.
Gratitude has not only reshaped how I view happiness but also how I live my life. It has taught me that true fulfillment isn’t found in what we acquire, but in how we perceive and appreciate what we already have. By keeping gratitude at the center of my daily practice, I continue to build a life that is rooted in contentment rather than consumption, in appreciation rather than accumulation.
GB: When did you first begin to understand gratitude and what it can do?
BC: Very early in prison, I was introduced to the concept of a gratitude journal. I don’t recall exactly who or how I learned about it, but I know that I began the practice almost immediately. The process was simple yet incredibly powerful: each night before bed, I would reflect on my day and write down three things I was grateful for. Most days, these were small moments—a beautiful sunrise, a kind word from a fellow inmate, a rewarding teaching session, or a letter from a loved one.
This practice shifted my focus away from dwelling on the negatives and instead trained my mind to seek out the positive. It’s easy to let a single bad moment define an entire day, but by making a conscious effort to recognize the good, I found myself gradually reframing my perspective. On particularly difficult days, revisiting past journal entries reminded me of all that I still had to be grateful for, helping to diminish the weight of negative emotions.
After several weeks, something remarkable happened—the mental fog of incarceration began to lift. I became more aware of the support I had from family and friends, the sense of purpose I found in teaching GED classes to other inmates, and the meaningful connections I was forming with people around me. Gratitude was profoundly shifting my mindset.
As I continued this practice, I came across research that validated what I was experiencing firsthand. Studies have shown that maintaining a gratitude journal can lead to improved sleep quality, reduced blood pressure, and overall better mental well-being. Researchers at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center found that individuals who regularly practiced gratitude experienced increased happiness and decreased depression. Similarly, a study published by Mindful.org highlighted that gratitude journaling can help rewire the brain toward a more positive outlook and enhance resilience in the face of adversity.
Looking back, I realize that gratitude wasn’t just a coping mechanism—it was a transformational tool. It helped me see beyond my circumstances, focus on what truly mattered, and ultimately, set the foundation for the deeper work of understanding why I had engaged in unethical behavior in the first place. It was the first step in a journey toward unlocking ethical excellence.
GB: Why did you end up in prison?
BC: The answer to why I ended up in prison is both simple and deeply personal. I allowed internal pressures—pressures I didn’t fully understand at the time—to overwhelm my judgment. Instead of addressing them in a healthy way, I rationalized behavior I knew was wrong, leading me down a path that was completely opposite to how I was raised and how I raised my own children.
Looking back, I can now see that my actions weren’t the result of a single, impulsive decision—they were the result of small, seemingly insignificant rationalizations that built up over time. The pressure to maintain an image of success, the fear of failure, and the desire to avoid the consequences of past mistakes all played a role in my choices. Instead of confronting these pressures directly, I allowed them to lead me into unethical behavior.
But let me be absolutely clear—this is not an excuse. I take full responsibility for my actions. It would be easy to shift blame onto circumstances, stress, or external factors, but doing so would only serve as denial, preventing true growth and self-reflection.
During my time in prison, I met many individuals who were still trapped in a cycle of blaming others—the system, their upbringing, bad luck—for their circumstances. Unfortunately, those who refuse to confront the real reasons behind their actions are destined to repeat the same mistakes. I was determined not to be one of them.
Through self-reflection and accountability, I worked to understand why I thought the way I did, so I could ensure I never think that way again. Only by confronting the truth—however uncomfortable—was I able to begin the process of becoming a better person, father, and member of society.
GB: When did you first make a connection between gratitude and ethics?
BC: When I informed my daughter about my indictment and likely prison sentence, she asked a question that would fundamentally change my perspective on unethical behavior: "Dad, what the hell were you thinking?" But as I reflected, I realized that wasn’t the only question I needed to answer. I also needed to ask myself: Why was I thinking this way? And, more importantly, How do I ensure I never think this way again?
Most ethics training—whether in business or academia—focuses on the symptoms of unethical behavior. It emphasizes compliance, case studies of fraud, and the consequences of getting caught. But people don’t engage in unethical behavior simply because they want to break the rules. They do it because there’s a payoff—money, power, status, security, or career advancement. I needed to go deeper. Instead of just analyzing what I did, I had to uncover the root cause of why I rationalized unethical decisions in the first place.
In my search for answers, I turned to the foundational research on unethical behavior, including Donald Cressey’s Fraud Triangle, which identifies three key factors that must be present for fraud to occur: pressure, opportunity, and rationalization. I also examined the 10/80/10 Rule, developed by the National Association of State Auditors, Comptrollers, and Treasurers (NASACT), which categorizes how people respond to ethical dilemmas:
10% of people will never engage in unethical or fraudulent behavior, no matter the pressure or opportunity.
80% of people might engage in unethical behavior if the pressures are significant enough and the opportunity exists.
The final 10% are actively engaged in or looking for ways to commit unethical behavior.
For me, the key factor was pressure. I had to understand the forces—both internal and external—that led to my flawed thinking. Internally, there was ambition, financial stress, and fear of failure. Externally, there were workplace expectations, societal definitions of success, and the normalization of cutting ethical corners. However, it’s essential to emphasize that pressure is not an excuse—most individuals facing immense pressure still choose to act ethically. So the question became: What allows some people to withstand pressure while others give in?
That’s when I discovered the transformative power of gratitude. Researchers like Robert Emmons, Ph.D., and Dr. Michael McCullough have demonstrated how gratitude shifts our focus away from scarcity and stress, reducing the need for external validation. Gratitude helps reframe pressure, making it less likely to fuel rationalizations for unethical behavior. By embracing gratitude, I wasn’t just improving my well-being—I was actively rewiring my decision-making process.
In answering my daughter’s question, I realized that unlocking ethical resilience requires more than rules and regulations. It demands a mindset shift—one where gratitude acts as a safeguard against the pressures that drive unethical choices.
GB: Please expand on why you believe gratitude is the foundation for living a happier, more content life. In other words, why is gratitude the antidote for unethical behavior?
BC: Gratitude is the antidote to dissatisfaction. Before I understood the power of gratitude, I was constantly chasing external sources of happiness—money, possessions, and status—believing that the next achievement or acquisition would bring lasting fulfillment. But the reality is, that enough is never enough. The search for happiness through external means is an endless pursuit, leading to stress, anxiety, and ultimately, discontentment.
Through self-reflection, research, and lived experience, I’ve come to understand that true happiness must come from within. Studies by Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Michael McCullough have shown that people who regularly practice gratitude experience higher levels of happiness, lower stress, and greater overall life satisfaction. This is because gratitude shifts our focus—instead of dwelling on what we lack, we begin to recognize all that we already have. A study published by the Association for Psychological Science found that individuals who recalled moments of gratitude were significantly less likely to lie for monetary gain in experimental settings. This suggests that gratitude reduces the inclination toward dishonesty by shifting focus away from self-interest and short-term rewards. Similarly, a University of Central Florida study found that employees who kept a gratitude journal exhibited fewer instances of workplace incivility, such as gossip and mistreatment of colleagues. This highlights gratitude’s role in fostering a more ethical and respectful environment.
Keeping a gratitude journal while in prison helped me see that even in one of the most challenging environments, there was still much to be grateful for, a kind word from a fellow inmate, a moment of peace, an opportunity to help others. Over time, I realized that gratitude wasn’t just a coping mechanism; it was a mindset shift that allowed me to reframe my entire perspective on life.
I co-developed and taught a course to other inmates in prison called Bitter or Better...How to Find Happiness and Be Grateful in Prison and Beyond. Through deep self-reflection and conversations with dozens of others who took my course, I recognized a common theme: many of us had spent our lives chasing happiness in external rewards—possessions, money, power, and status. We had convinced ourselves that once we achieved that next thing, happiness would follow. This work proved to be exceptionally rewarding as it allowed me to learn from and share with others who were in a similar situation as I was.
Living with gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or pretending that difficulties don’t exist. Instead, it allows us to acknowledge hardships while maintaining perspective, recognizing that despite struggles, there is still much to appreciate. This mindset is what brings true contentment, not temporary highs from material gain.
The metaphor I often use is "chasing butterflies." Just as catching a butterfly with your bare hands is nearly impossible, so too is finding lasting happiness through external validation. However, if you sit still on a warm summer day, a butterfly might land on you naturally. Happiness works the same way—it is something that finds us when we stop searching for it in all the wrong places.
GB: How/why do you think this could apply to prospective law students, law students, and lawyers?
BC: Prospective law students, law students, and lawyers all face intense pressure, both internal and external. The legal profession is built on high expectations, intense competition, and significant responsibility, which can create an environment where stress, anxiety, and ethical dilemmas are common. I know this from personal experience, having a family member who is a lawyer, and having witnessed firsthand the pressures that come with the profession.
Prospective Law Students
The journey begins with uncertainty and self-doubt. Prospective law students wrestle with questions like:
What if I don’t score well on the LSAT?
What if I don’t get admitted to my preferred law school?
Can I handle the rigorous coursework?
How will I pay for law school?
Choosing to pursue law is a significant commitment of both time and money, often requiring the postponement of short-term gratification in favor of long-term career goals. The weight of these decisions can create overwhelming stress, leading some to question whether they are making the right choice.
Law Students
Once in law school, the pressure only intensifies. Law students face:
Academic competition – Law school is notoriously competitive, with students often comparing themselves to their peers in an environment where class rankings can determine future job opportunities.
The pressure to secure internships (summer associate positions) – Landing a coveted internship at a prestigious law firm, government agency, or public interest organization is seen as a crucial step toward securing a successful career.
The grueling curriculum – The Socratic method, long hours of studying, and high-stakes exams contribute to extreme mental and emotional strain.
Financial stress – Mounting student loan debt can create additional anxiety about future job prospects.
With all these pressures, it’s easy for law students to become fixated on external achievements—grades, internships, job offers—rather than focusing on personal well-being and ethical decision-making.
Practicing Lawyers
For those who enter the legal profession, the pressures evolve but never disappear:
Billable hour requirements – Many lawyers, particularly in large firms, must meet demanding billable hour quotas, leading to long hours, burnout, and exhaustion.
Client expectations and ethical dilemmas – Lawyers must navigate high-stakes cases, demanding clients, and ethical gray areas where the pressure to win can sometimes conflict with doing what is right.
Work-life balance struggles – The demands of the profession often lead to strained personal relationships and mental health challenges, contributing to high rates of stress, anxiety, and even substance abuse within the legal community.
Job security and career progression – The path to partnership, tenure, or financial stability can feel like an endless uphill battle, causing some to sacrifice their well-being for professional advancement.
How Gratitude Helps
Given the constant pressure and high stakes in the legal field, practicing gratitude can serve as a powerful tool for maintaining perspective, reducing stress, and promoting ethical decision-making. Research by Dr. Robert Emmons has shown that gratitude can increase resilience, improve mental well-being, and enhance overall job satisfaction. By focusing on what they have rather than what they lack, law students and lawyers can:
Alleviate stress and anxiety by shifting their focus from future uncertainties to present opportunities.
Foster a sense of contentment that isn’t solely dependent on external achievements.
Strengthen ethical decision-making by reducing the pressure to cut corners for short-term gains.
Gratitude grounds individuals in what truly matters, helping them avoid the trap of chasing butterflies—seeking happiness through external validation rather than internal fulfillment. For those in the legal field, where the pressure to succeed can often overshadow personal well-being, practicing gratitude can be a lifeline to a healthier, more balanced, and ethically grounded career.
GB Brunner: What advice can you give our audience if faced with a situation that may have ethical consequences?
BC: I want to share a story about someone I met while in prison. For 16 months, we taught GED classes together, allowing me to get to know him well. We still stay in touch and communicate weekly.
This individual, whom we’ll call “Mike”, was the Managing Partner at a large tax and estate planning firm. He was a well-respected tax attorney with over 30 years of experience in the profession.
One of Mike’s clients—his firm’s largest in terms of revenue—began subtly pressuring him to record a transaction in a way that would be more favorable from a tax standpoint. Make no mistake, what the client was proposing was a clear violation of the IRS tax code, something both Mike and the client fully understood.
At first, Mike pushed back hard, repeatedly telling the client that what they were asking was against the law and could lead to serious consequences. But over time, both external and internal pressures began to build.
External Pressures:
Client Pressure – The client made it clear that if Mike didn’t comply, he would take his business elsewhere.
Revenue Dependence – This was the firm’s largest client and losing them would mean a significant financial hit.
Competitive Threat – The client hinted that other attorneys were willing to be more “aggressive” with their interpretations of the tax code.
Internal Pressures:
Fear of Losing Status – Mike had built a strong reputation over three decades. Losing a major client could damage his standing within the firm and industry.
Rationalization – He convinced himself that it was just one transaction, and he had always done things the right way.
Gradual Ethical Erosion – What started as firm resistance began to weaken under persistent pressure.
Eventually, the fear of losing the client, revenue, and professional standing became overwhelming, and Mike gave in. He recorded the transaction in a way that benefited the client, even though he knew it was wrong.
Fast forward a few years, and the client was audited by the IRS. When confronted about the questionable transaction, the client denied all knowledge, claiming that’s why he paid Mike and his firm—to handle these matters. The IRS then turned its focus on Mike, and because his name was on the return, he was held responsible.
The consequences were devastating. Mike was indicted, pled guilty to filing a false tax return, and was sentenced to 18 months in federal prison. He lost his law license, his career, and the respect of his peers, and deeply disappointed his family.
What so many people fail to consider when facing ethical dilemmas are the far-reaching consequences of their choices—consequences that extend far beyond what they could ever imagine. Just like when a stone is dropped into a calm body of water, the ripples travel much further than expected.
One final point: Once you take that first step over the ethical line, it becomes easier and easier to justify stepping over it again. I know this from personal experience and from conversations with countless others who made that first compromise, only to find themselves trapped in a cycle of unethical decisions.
The best time to make the right choice is before you take that first step.
GB: If someone wanted to learn more about you and your story, where can they do that?
BC: Email: billcarlson@thebillcarlson.com
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Closing:
Thank you, Bill, for courageously sharing your story and profound wisdom. Hearing about your experience has personally given me a different perspective on the power of gratitude. Through your reflections, research, and willingness to share, you are gifting our readers with practical advice on how to deeply appreciate this journey and create success from the inside out, no matter the external pressures that may come.
Gabriela Brunner holds a JD from Chicago-Kent College of Law and a MS in Higher Education Leadership from Western Illinois University. Prior to becoming a prelaw advisor at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Gabriela practiced law for ten years in business litigation and immigration law. She has a passion for mindfulness and meditation, particularly as it applies to pre-professionals.
