The Inner Critic: Quieting Imposter Syndrome

The content of this article is strictly editorial and personal opinion, not to be construed as medical advice. 

When you are the most vulnerable, I am the voice that whispers in your ear, “You will never be good enough.”

I’m the twinge of doubt you feel when you read an application and think, “I am not qualified, yet.”

And I’m the silent critic that causes you to reframe an answer when you say, “Don’t want to overstep here, but I think a, b, or c may work, but that’s just my two cents!”

Yes, I am imposter syndrome and my power is most impactful when you feel the least amount of confidence in yourself.

If any of the three scenarios resonates with you, then you have fallen victim to the clever yet ignorant voice of imposter syndrome. 

Friends, there is a lot to say on this topic.

I think the most important aspect I want to address is that imposter syndrome doesn’t magically go away. I still feel it at times, sneaking up on me and ambushing me. I would love to say my doubts and insecurities are far behind me in the rearview mirror. And to some degree, that is true. What used to make me self-conscious no longer does. As someone who used to second guess herself time and again, I generally do not anymore. But it has taken me a long time to feel this way, and quite honestly, imposter syndrome still sneaks up when I am anxious or stressed.

In this post, we’ll explore what imposter syndrome is, but more importantly how to address it. 

What is it?

WebMD says: “imposter syndrome is when you doubt your own skills and successes. You feel you're not as talented or worthy as others believe, and you're scared that one day, people will realize that.” You will note, this is not a medical diagnosis. Rather, it’s the self-doubt that one experiences about their own abilities, feeling “less than” when comparing themselves to their peers. 

Why does this phenomenon happen? While there is not a singular, iron-clad reason, there is potentially a pattern. Much of the pattern has to do with how you view yourself. Take a moment to think about the following questions:

• Have you ever felt that everyone in the room knows more than you?

• Do you see yourself less skilled than others?

• Do you struggle to take compliments well?

• Are you afraid of disappointing others?

• Do you seek others’ approval?

• Do small mistakes feel amplified?

• Do you discount or minimize your successes?

If you answered yes to one or more of the questions above, you, my friend, may suffer from imposter syndrome. The good news? Many of us have it and even better, we can work to overcome it.

On a personal note, earlier in my life I could easily have answered “yes” to the questions above. But I did not know the name for my feelings. I had been an attorney for about four years before I first heard the term ‘imposter syndrome.’ So my goal today is to make sure you feel seen and heard, should you experience this.

Let’s take a closer look. According to the National Library of Medicine, imposter syndrome affects “high-functioning, high-achieving individuals” and can be amplified by other qualities such as depression or anxiety. For today’s purposes, we are just focusing on imposter syndrome. Stay tuned for another blog article that does a deeper dive into “tough stuff” in the legal field, such as depression and anxiety.

To summarize, we have high-functioning individuals, with self-doubting behavior, that can potentially lead to marginalizing self-success or achievement (source). Additionally, there is literature that suggests imposter syndrome is especially prevalent among high-achieving women. While it may sometimes feel like you are the only one who experiences this, please remember that you are not alone.

Having explored some of the background and rationale for this, let’s take a moment to discuss how to combat imposter syndrome.

Toolkit Tips

First things first, acknowledge when you start feeling the doubt creep in. Then, apply some rational thinking. Are you doubting yourself because of a result or is it merely how you are feeling? By no means am I undermining feelings as they are vital and personal to each of us. However, I encourage you to get curious about why the doubt is happening and where it comes from.

Secondly, talk to someone you can trust! In the competitive and close-knit community of law school, your colleagues (and yes, even your professors!) may unintentionally be contributing to your self-doubt. This is where your community comes into play. Is it your partner who can listen to your concerns and help you evaluate? Is it your childhood friend who has taken the bumpy road of life with you? Maybe (shameless plug!) it is your career adviser who has navigated law school and beyond, and can help you work through your concerns.

Toolkit Tip 1:Whoever you confide in should be someone who a.) knows you and is b.) someone you can trust.

Another approach is self-talk. Take the personal feeling away from the doubt and consider how you would advise a close friend or colleague who came to talk to you. Would you find their concerns to be justified? Or would you see it as a lack of confidence instead of a lack of skill?

Toolkit Tip 2: Flip the script and be the best adviser to yourself, as if you were chatting with someone who came to you for advice. 

Furthermore, engage in meaningful and concentrated reflection. It is easy to start to spiral when stressed; in fact, a whole domino effect can start taking place. You see all the ways you are going wrong and fail to acknowledge what is going right. Therefore, I encourage you to find quiet time and concentrate on the various accomplishments you have achieved in your life. 

Have you previously been scared of failing and yet managed to succeed?

Did you ever have a grade upset you and then come out of the process even stronger?

If you have completed your first year of law school, do you remember how the beginning appeared daunting, but you made it through?

You. Can. Do. Hard. Things.

Toolkit Tip 3: Access confidence from prior self-accomplishments.

Which leads me organically to tip 4! There will always be someone who has done things differently, who is better than you at something, or who appears to have everything figured out. But you have already accomplished so much. This is the perfect time to take stock.

Toolkit Tip 4: Keep a list of achievements.

Adjust your narrative and thinking. Maybe you did mess up and you feel bad. It could be a critical comment from a professor, a less than desirable grade, a rejection for a job you really wanted. While difficult to process, do any of these things define you? Do they dictate your talent and continued quest for improvement?

Of course not. If you can separate fact from feeling and understand that this is an area for self-improvement, you can control your narrative and move forward, rather than stagnating in self-doubt.

Toolkit Tip 5: Mistakes do not define us. How we respond and grow from mistakes do. 

Finally, I want to leave you with a sixth tip, which personally, I think is a game changer. Know your worth and know that you belong in the spaces you serve. You may not have all the answers. You may not always be right. You will make mistakes. You are human.

BUT you are competent, capable, and incredibly deserving of success. Do not compare yourself to others but rather continually remind yourself that life is a journey and you have already come so far.

Toolkit Tip 6: Never, ever give up on yourself or let others’ limiting beliefs define your success or who you are. 

Even as an experienced professional with many years of work behind me, I need to remind myself of this advice from time to time as well. Next time we chat, we are going to delve into some of the tough topics of the legal profession and how to live our best lives, while navigating a challenging profession. In the meanwhile, if any of the tips I recommend above speak to you, I would love to hear your feedback!

Kristina Bilowus is an Assistant Director of Career Development at MSU College of Law. She is also the current Treasurer of the Women Lawyers Association of Michigan, vice president of the Hellenic Bar Association, co-chairs the DEI Committee for the Oakland County Bar Association and co-chairs the DEI Committee for the Ingham County Bar. She is also a board member for the Michigan Center for Civic Education.